A key component of any memorable wedding speech by the father of the bride are a few one liners. One liners are short humorous sayings, quotes or proverbs. They help spice up a speech and are a great way to break the ice with an audience. Unlike the much more complex wedding jokes, one liners are much easier to get right. The most effective way to deliver a one liner is with a straight face and pause for effect. These jokes either work or they don’t, never try to explain a one liner.
About the bride
On liners about the bride are pretty easy. You are her father after all, you should know all of her funny habits or sayings. Here are some good generic quips:
- My child was a natural mimic when she was born, she acted like her parents despite our every effort to teach her good manners.
- Here is my daughter, I suppose. But where in the world did the child go?
- It kills me to see my daughter grow up. But I guess it would have killed me quicker if she didn’t.
- She was fun as a baby, but babies have this nasty habit of growing into people.
- I approved of premarital sex until my daughter was born.
Advice to the new son in law
Giving advice is a standard part of the father’s wedding speech. Here is some one line advice to a son or a son in law who is about to get married:
- You married Miss Right. Just remember, her first name is Always.
- Words to live by – do not argue with your wife who is packing your parachute or lunch.
- A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
- There are just two times when a man doesn’t understand his wife – before marriage and after marriage.
- The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
Advice to your daughter
If you want to give advice to the bride, here are a few one liners you can use:
- A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended.
- A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
- If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give him a day or two, He’ll be back to his usual self.
- If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him check books.
- Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.
Advice about marriage
Almost every father of the bride speech contains advice about married life. It is your chance to impart important wisdom to the newly married couple. Here are a few one liners to space between your true pearls of wisdom:
- Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding, half shut afterwards.
- The first year of marriage is like wet cement – the impressions made in it are much harder to change once it has set.
- My father told me “Grow up and get married; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you can always become a philosopher.”
- The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
- Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
